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My mother’s photo albums from her high school years and young adult life were disintegrating. I salvaged them by creating one archival scrapbook, keeping the style and sequence the same as her original albums. As you would expect of a teenager’s album, her pages contained family, friends, school activities, and beaucoup boyfriends, or suitors, as she would have called them!!! It is shocking how many boys were “sweet on her!” I wish she had identified more of them, or that I had listened more intently when she told me stories! These are some of the names that are identified in her albums, but many are nameless: Bob Almy, Bill Ries, Francis Bartoo (I knew him and his family well), Art Smith, Walter Stubble, John Walburn, Richard (“Ritchie”) Chamberlain, Jimmy Waldock (He was my ophthalmologist), Warren Crisjohn, Paul Shoots, Dee Goodrich, Paul Wolf, Howard La Fever, “Alabama,” Neil Laurence, John Jr., Jess (“Jesscuss”) Maitland, and Mel. A set of pictures I find amusing is a group of eight boys posing in a professionally pleasing style under a tree in her front yard. The second photo has my mother is in the center behind them with her arms around those next to her. What a queen bee!
While pouring over the photos, I learned many things about my mother. She was extraordinarily limber doing splits and yoga style positions with her foot to her head. A stunning revelation was that Mom made the decision to marry Dad suddenly! I knew that he had told her on the day they met in 1932, “You don’t know this now, but you are going to marry me someday.” Every time he saw her, he asked when she was going to marry him. What I was not aware of is that she was seriously dating other men mere months before her marriage! In April 1933, she went with the Bartoo family on a trip to Washington, DC. Then on April 21, 1933, there is a picture of her hugging an unnamed boyfriend! It was probably May when Dad asked her his standard question again. She shocked and delighted him by responding, “How about this summer!” On June 11, he gave her a diamond ring, and July 25, 1933, they were married!
When dispensing of my mother’s belongings after her death in 1988, I gave my daughter, Karin, a box of love letters. She was especially close to her Grandma and cherished having the letters. I didn’t have the time then. If they yielded significant information, I knew that Karin would tell me. Now that I have the mournful chore of sorting through my daughter’s belongings, I brought the box of letters home. There are thirty-some letters, all written between 1927-1928, when she was only 15 to 16 years old! The authors included a couple of the beaus in the list above as well as new names: Harold Lehman from Andover, NY; Harold Miller from Warren, Ohio; Bob Gray, a student at the U of P, from Philadelphia, PA; Ron H. Campbell from Olean, NY who sounds like he is a married man; Richard Chamberlain and Paul de Paul, both from Cuba, NY. How did she meet these men when she lived in tiny Richburg, NY? She carried on amorous correspondence with several simultaneously. Most of them came to visit her regularly as they were able, according to their letters, and all of them vowed their love to her in English, French, or Latin.
My mother’s handwriting was uniquely unique! It might be termed a Leaning Tower of Pisa Font as her letters slanted at a forty-five degree angle to the left. She wrote very slowly, forming each letter flawlessly every time. She was a perfectionist, which may account for some of Karin’s and my behaviors. As a child, I was embarrassed that it took her so long to write a check at the checkout counter of a store. I had always assumed that she had developed that style of penmanship while learning to write. The stack of letters contains none written by her. There is a draft copy on scratch paper. The penmanship is not hers as the words are stretched with the letters squished fairly flat. It wasn’t until I reread the draft and noted that the author said that yesterday was her birthday, and the letter was dated June 18, 1928. My mother’s birthday was June 17! She had written this letter! Here is what she scribbled in haste and fury:
“Paul, You haven’t got the brains God gave an angleworm!! Just what do you think I am, a simpleton???? I ought to sue you for breach of promise – but you aren’t worth the room you take up!!!
“Well, to get down to business! Just what do you think you are, a sheik? You think you can catch any girl you want to – you big flirt --- Liar! Do you realize that yesterday was my birthday and you didn’t even send a card or come over with ‘Jas.’ Or send word, or even send a letter! Well I should worry!!! Listen, Big boy, you must think I am crazy about you! Paul, you are just a poor sport! I was good to you – In fact, too good – and look now how you appreciate it.
“Oh well – we used to be good friends, Paul de Paul, but those days are over – I’m afraid. They are crumbled and shattered. Those joys that we knew and the cobwebs we spun with are beaded with dew!
“Enclosed you will find the money to pay for the “C.” So sorry you think it part my fault but…. ”
There is a photo in her album of a boy wearing a sweater with a large “C” on it and the notation reads, “Paul’s mad, and I’m glad.” The next letter from Paul contains the check signed by Etha for $1.25 which he returned to her saying that she was not to blame for the “C.” “I guess I shouldn’t have brought it over for you to wear, too.” Later he says, “I don’t think I’ll get a new letter for my sweater because it’s getting too old and worn out.” The best he could do at an apology was, “I don’t think I’d better come over with Jas. after the way I’ve done. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to see me and I don’t imagine anyone else in Richburg would.”
I think she was more interested in Ritchie than Paul, as I remember hearing about Ritchie. After the row with Paul, his buddy Ritchie wrote that he didn’t think he should come to visit any more and that her mother would probably agree.
The photos verify that she continued the flirting, dating game until 1933, likely breaking a few hearts along the way.
